


Someone To Carry You

by herwhiteknight



Series: 365 Days of Sarah/Cosima [10]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Shower scene (but not what you think), Showers, Sleepiness, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 13:57:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8982715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herwhiteknight/pseuds/herwhiteknight
Summary: Sarah's can't sleep. Cosima has a slightly unorthodox solution.





	

**Author's Note:**

> No prompt. 
> 
> Day 11 of 365.

Cosima had been noticing that, for the past several nights, Sarah hadn't been sleeping. And even if she actually had been, it couldn't have been for very long periods at a time. Ever since Cosima had begun her journey to recovery, she had been sleeping lighter than usual, and every toss and turn of Sarah in the bed next to her would startle her awake until Cosima just didn't bother closing her eyes anymore, taking instead to watching Sarah sleep. Or, well, not sleep.

“You know what's great?” Cosima asked in a raspy voice one night. Because even though she hadn't been sleeping, it was late into the night and she hadn't spoken in awhile. Sarah just gave a noncommittal grunt and shifted slightly. She was listening, but she didn't really care. “Showers at three in the morning,” Cosima finished with a grin.

“Sure Cos. Whatever,” Sarah yawned and shifted in bed again so that she was facing Cosima now as she tried to get comfortable.

Cosima softened as she looked at Sarah's appearance, the drag of her face, the unnatural paleness that could be seen even with the moonlight bleaching the colour out of their surroundings. The heaviness of her limbs as she shifted slightly once more, her hand resting by Cosima's thigh. “Sarah... you need to try to sleep,” she told her gently, scooping up Sarah's hand and tugging it around her own waist as she scooted closer.

“What do you think I had been trying to do before you started going off just now?” Sarah grumbled, but allowed herself to almost unconsciously settle herself more comfortably against Cosima, her head dropping onto the pillow of her chest as she fiddled with the hem of Cosima's pajama tank with her free hand.

“I just... I want to help you somehow,” she murmured, her breath hitching slightly as Sarah's absentminded caresses found the bare skin of her stomach under her shirt.

“And telling me that a shower at three in the morning is your way of doing that, is it?” Sarah scoffed as she started to draw back, like she was starting to think that turning to face Cosima was a bad idea. Even though resting on Cosima was the most comfortable she had felt all night.

“I was just trying to think of-”

“You remember that half of my nightmares are of you and Kira drowning yeah? And most of those are you drowning in your own blood, Cos! You think a stupid shower will, I dunno, be able to just... get rid of all that?” she snapped, her hands tightening into desperate fists, tugging and stretching the material of Cosima's shirt.

“I think it might help, yeah,” Cosima replied softly as she gently loosened Sarah's grip and took ahold of her hand once more, their fingers automatically tangling and untangling together in a soothing motion.

Cosima's quiet certainty had Sarah letting out a slow, carefully controlled breath as she considered. A hot shower to relax her muscles _did_ sound like one of the better ideas that had been brought forth in an attempt to help Sarah sleep in weeks past. But.. the water... “You'll be there? To.. to help?” she asked, her voice vulnerable in the way that only Cosima ever got the chance to witness.

“Of course,” she answered readily, squeezing Sarah's hand and sitting up as she did so. “I'll go turn the water on okay? Just take your time.”

“Sure...,” Sarah said slowly, just starting to sit up as Cosima headed into the bathroom. The water just started running as Sarah ambled over, blanket still wrapped over her shoulders, peering into the bathroom that was just starting to cloud with steam to see Cosima testing the stream with her elbow.

“I think it's... ready,” Cosima began loudly as she turned around, jumping slightly when she saw Sarah standing right behind her. “I thought you were still laying down,” she explained sheepishly.

Sarah just shrugged and nudged the blanket from her shoulders, letting out an involuntary shudder the moment its weight was freed from her shoulders. “You said it was ready?” she asked, catching Cosima staring slightly.

She blushed as she nodded vigorously, as if to shake certain thoughts from her head. “I can just, like, head out while you are getting in, 'kay?”

“No!” Sarah started suddenly, reaching for Cosima before dropping her hand awkwardly back by her side. “Uh.. I mean... could you? Please? I..,” she sighed, finishing with a quiet, “Stay, please?”

Cosima was silent for a moment, looking at Sarah, staring as if she had never seen her before. Finally, “Yeah, of course. Anything you need,” she replied softly, touching Sarah on the arm before turning slightly to allow Sarah the space to get undressed and into the shower.

“Cosima?” was the next thing she heard and Cosima, figuring it was safe, looked up to see Sarah curled up at the bottom of the tub, arms wrapped around steepled knees.

“Yeah Sar?” she asked, her voice rough, though this time it wasn't from sleepy disuse.

“Sit with me?”

Cosima gulped at the pure innocence of the question, and forced herself to calm down. “If that's what you need, sure,” she replied carefully, making her way gingerly over to the edge of the tub and sitting down there.

“No I mean..,” Sarah began next, after a few moments of silence filled with the patter of the cascading water and the gurgling of the pipes. “With me... in here?”

“Will that help you relax?” Cosima asked, her throat dry as she fiddled with the hem of her pajama tank, like Sarah had just a few minutes ago.

“I dunno,” Sarah mumbled, sounding like an exhausted toddler. “Maybe?”

Cosima didn't reply, too busy as she was with the careful removal of her clothes, each movement deliberate and controlled, as if her outward actions would control the inward pounding of her heart. She stood and slipped out of her sweats, and her panties came next. Taking a hopefully unnoticeable, very large breath, she stepped into the tub behind Sarah and settled her legs around the other woman.

“Better?” Cosima asked, her voice ragged in the way that Sarah was sure to notice.

Sarah just hummed and leaned back against Cosima like it was something she did every day. Which it was, but those times had always been done with clothes in between, or maybe even a blanket. But as Sarah relaxed, Cosima found herself breathing easier as well, and she began tracing patterns on Sarah's back like she normally would, chasing water droplets down Sarah's back, bouncing around from the different trails they made, occasionally making pit stops at scars that marked her flesh.

At some point in all of this, Sarah's weight had grown heavier against Cosima, and her head had lolled against Cosima's chest, exposing her relaxed expression underneath the gentle rain of water. “Time for bed then,” Cosima whispered, supporting her until she could rest Sarah's exhausted form against the edge of the tub so she could turn off the water and grab towels for herself and Sarah.

After slipping into her own pajamas, she bent down and clumsily lifted Sarah out of the tub, smacking her own elbow against its side, almost dropping Sarah as she cursed at the tingles that ran up her arm.

With a little more manoeuvring, Cosima managed to slip Sarah into her Clash t-shirt and carry her back to bed, dropping her under the covers a little less gently than she had originally intended, but Sarah didn't even stir. “You must've been really exhausted then,” Cosima whispered as she slipped under the blankets on her side of the bed, tucking herself into Sarah's back, throwing an arm over her waist.

Wide awake due to her exertions, with adrenaline still pumping through her veins slightly from the carry, Cosima stayed awake and watched Sarah breathe, more easily than she had ever seen Sarah breathe before. “I wish you could be this comfortable all the time,” she murmured with a heavy sigh, nuzzling her forehead into the crook of Sarah's neck.

“Cos...,” Sarah mumbled in her sleep, shifting inside Cosima's loose hold.

“Shh,” Cosima assured her softly, “Just sleep Sar. I'm here for you.” And Sarah's gentle, relaxed smile was the only answer Cosima needed.

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to E.


End file.
